Married in the Middle of COVID
Two weeks ago on a Wednesday evening around 9 pm- I received an inquiry from my website from a bride who was in search of a photographer for her ceremony that Saturday. Her original photographer’s husband was diagnosed with Covid-19 ( he is on the mend) and was unable to be there to photograph their day. I could only imagine their stress and I responded immediately… I definitely wasn’t paying attention to the time when I shot them over both an email and text message. If there is one thing people know about me it’s that I am all about putting people’s minds at ease during chaotic and stressful times.
As the Universe would have it- I was available to photograph their wedding that morning ( I had a small ceremony that evening in Topeka and Lawrence was on my way… not to mention I could stop at Sarah’s Fabrics and get some new mask fabric ;) ). I firmly believe that the universe brought us together and honestly if felt like I had known Rachel and Matt much longer than I did. Their wedding was by far one of the most magical weddings I have ever experienced and I couldn’t be more thankful that I was there to capture it.
I was so impressed by all of the precautions and considerations that Rachel and Matt had taken for their South Park Gazebo, Lawrence Wedding Ceremony. I wanted to be able to share their story, how they handled planning their wedding right in the middle of a pandemic and how it turned out to be the perfect ceremony.
…….side note…..I am in the midst of gathering some more information for couples on Covid-19 and the safest ways to have a wedding.
planning a wedding in the midst of a pandemic
1) Tell us about how you two met?
Matt and I crossed paths on the Bumble dating app in 2018. I was drawn to his kind smile, and I also recognized several locations in his pictures, including Lone Star Lake (southwest of Lawrence, Kansas). He said I looked genuine and captivating. Our first conversation was about our chocolate Labradors (mine is Baby and his is Beamish). We agreed to meet a few days later in Lawrence's historic South Park for a "double dog donut date." I brought Munchers cream cheese donuts, and he brought coffee. We walked all around the park with Baby and Beamish, then down Mass Street to an auction and had a lot of fun looking through historic documents there. We were excited to get together again and talk more . . . the rest is history!
2) How did he pop the question?
Matt really wanted to go to Lone Star Lake one day, so we packed up the grill, the dogs, and a picnic and drove down there. Matt grilled burgers and the dogs paddled around the lake, then he went to the back of his truck. I didn't know Matt had packed his guitar before we left . . . my only clue that something was up that morning was that he had changed into a nicer shirt! Matt played one of my favorite songs (Gregory Alan Isakov's "The Stable Song"), then pulled out the lyrics for a new song he had written for me. It was really sweet and included fun lines about the adventures we've had together and the good times the dogs have had. Then Matt folded the paper down to reveal an extra set of lyrics, and he asked me to marry him in the song!! The ring and ring box were antique - they belonged to his grandma, and he had hidden them in his guitar case. Of course I said yes, and was super happy and totally surprised!!!
3) What was your original wedding day vision?
We originally wanted to get married at a historic venue (like a local barn, school, or library), and we wanted to include all of our siblings in the wedding party, which meant we would've had three bridesmaids and groomsmen. Matt also has several young nieces and nephews, so we wanted to include them as flower girls and ring bearers. We probably would've had around 150 guests originally, including our extended family members and friends. Other than initially asking our siblings to participate, we hadn't gotten too far into our planning before COVID-19 hit.
4) What made you change your mind?
We were definitely worried about everyone's safety . . . we knew pretty quickly that we weren't going to be able to have the original wedding we had planned. Not only was it impossible to invite all the guests we wanted (Douglas County, Kansas, is still capping gatherings at 40 people), but we also felt responsible for everyone's health. We decided to limit guests to immediate family members, which meant we invited around 25 people. We also decided to include just us and the officiant in the ceremony to limit how many people were standing close together.
5) Considerations you took planning a “covid” wedding?
Almost every part of our wedding reflects a COVID-19 consideration, and many of our decisions actually ended up being really special.
Matt and I had a virtual wine and beer night with our siblings the Friday before our ceremony in lieu of bachelor/bachelorette gatherings.
our first date.
Lawrence Parks and Recreation wasn't accepting reservations for South Park due to COVID-19, so we looked at the community calendar and chose a Saturday when nothing was scheduled. June 27, the date we chose, ended up being a very happy coincidence since Matt's grandparents got married on that day too.
Instead of shopping for new wedding clothes and increasing our exposure, we decided to wear outfits we already had. This gave our wedding a cool vintage vibe. We ordered any accessories we needed online (mostly a 1920s headband and blue shoes for me).
Instead of providing a meal and chairs for our guests, we asked everyone to bring their own picnic lunch and chairs. This way, we still got to share a meal with everyone but avoided contact.
Instead of a shared cake, we bought Munchers donuts for everyone. With the donuts, chocolate Labs, and South Park location, our wedding ended up recreating our first date, which we really enjoyed.
As a safety precaution, we set out sanitizer, bleach wipes, and plastic gloves so everyone could safely take a donut. The donuts were also individually placed in tissues- for ease of sharing.
We asked everyone to wear masks in our wedding invitations. My mom made Matt and me matching masks with gold and blue fabric, which was cute!
Instead of having guests throw something after the ceremony or blow bubbles, which would've required more contact or removing masks, we provided ribbon wands for everyone to wave. This also ended up being a cool little keepsake.
For pictures, we stayed separate from our families (Marissa had individual family groups pose on a gazebo while we stood below).
We found an officiant (John Nichols) who was comfortable performing a socially distanced ceremony. The evening before the wedding, Matt and I met with John and paced out six feet so we knew where to stand during the wedding. This allowed us to take off our masks but still stay safe.
Our original photographer's husband tested positive for COVID-19 two days before the ceremony, which is how Marissa stepped in! We're really glad that he's feeling better now.
6) Advice for couples planning a wedding in a pandemic?
The best advice we can give other couples is to celebrate the special details that define your relationship and prioritize safety. For Matt and me, that meant recreating our first date and finding creative ways to include our loved ones. Not only did that approach feel safe and comfortable, but it also ended up being a blast.
Also, be flexible . . . you never know what amazing things might happen! Because we had to streamline our plans, our COVID-19 wedding was actually more personal and memorable than the ceremony we had originally envisioned. Matt and I literally couldn't stop smiling the whole day - our wedding was totally "us" by combining our love of the outdoors, history, music, chocolate Labs, our families, and each other.
7) Favorite part of your day?
All of it! By having our wedding in the park, we got to include our chocolate Labs as the "Best Dog" and "Dog of Honor," and we also had a really beautiful background for photographs. Instead of escorting us down the aisle, our parents shared words of advice and wisdom from where they sat. That part was super touching - we loved including them in the wedding that way!
Also, Matt and I sang "The Stable Song" for the audience since we love it so much (and he sang that song to me before he proposed!), and we shared our first dance around the South Park fountain. That's definitely the best dance I've ever had . . . it was so fun and scenic that it felt like we were in a movie or something. And the donuts were delicious!
8) Anything you would change?
I think the main things we would've changed were factors we couldn't control, like being able to mingle more with our families on our wedding day and inviting more of our friends to join us in person. I also missed being able to get ready with my mom (my sister came instead, which was great!). Overall, we definitely felt good about keeping everyone safe, and we still had a terrific time on our special day!! When it's safe to gather again, we'll have a larger celebration (maybe a vow renewal) and incorporate any elements we missed this time around.
9) A Note from the Bride:
Focus on each other during this crazy time - there are lots of ways to make a special day that you'll remember forever!